[Text]

[serpentinthegarden]

Hey people. All this nonsense talk of dreams aside...

I'm looking to hire some one for a few hours, light work, nothing illegal, at least its only vaguely illegal. You're end of the deal would be on the up and up. Must be a good shopper and willing to look the other way.

[ All this typed up on one with one hand while he wrestled a small girl he had tucked up under the other arm down the sidewalk and right past the world's least observant cop. She was tiny and wearing only a potato ack that had been fashioned into some sort of dress, a street kid who even while she was being carried away very few paid attention to. ]

Oh, also female. Very important that you have to be female. It will never work if you aren't. I've tried.

If you are interested send a prompt reply otherwise I'll have to think up something else.

Comments

[ibiza]

What's the job, Shades?

[ Oh, she's interested. Anything that will put money in her pocket interests her. ]

[serpentinthegarden]

Shopping.

[ See as easy as anything and in no way possibly illegal! ]

For girlie things. Dresses, some Mary Jane's... whatever goes underneath. They take a dim view of men entering shops intended for little girls.

[ Or maybe they just took a dim view of Crowley entering such places. ]

The cashier at Fifth Avenue can throw a mean handbag.

[desperate_times_right]

Why does it have to be a woman?

[serpentinthegarden]

You wouldn't ask that if you had ever asked about the size of a dress as a man. Those ladies that don't stop their shopping to shoot you a dirty look start reaching for their umbrellas to bash you over the head with them!

It would just be easier to have a women do the shopping.

[desperate_times_right]

I don't know if a dress they pick for me would fit you.

[serpentinthegarden]

That's fine. I'm not looking to have some one pick me up a dress, though it would make shopping in the lady's easier, I need some one to pick up a dress for a pint-sized version of you. Think kid, maybe six.

[desperate_times_right]

I see. Everyday wear or are you bringing your niece to an event?

[serpentinthegarden]

Oh this isn't my niece. She's just some dirty orphan kid I picked up off the street.

But she would need something to wear every day. What do little girls like these days, cotton dresses and Mary Janes?

[desperate_times_right]

[Should she be insulted that this is what he thinks of as a tiny version of her?]

Cotton is probably best for an everyday dress, but you might want to go for a closed shoe if she's living outside.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Maybe a backhanded compliment? The kid was spunky! He had almost lost hold of her three times already and they had barely gone a block. ]

She's not going to be living outside anymore. That would defeat the purpose of snatching her in the first place.

[desperate_times_right]

[Of course everyone's cross with him for shopping for women’s clothing and not for kidnapping a child.]

Okay, where's she going, then?

[ibiza]

I can do it, easy as pie. I just need a little cash to buy the, um, girlie things.

Who am I dressing and what's her favorite color?

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Clearly a guy shopping for lady's clothing is the greater threat! ]

I'm still working on a few details.

[serpentinthegarden]

Never got her name, she's been too busy trying to squirm away, but she has a bit of blue yarn that she has braided into a bracelet. I would go with blue.

Naturally I will give you the money for whatever she needs, you buy the stuff, and then I will pay you double the original amount. Keep the receipts so we can keep this all on the level.

[desperate_times_right]

[Oh. Great. Wonderful.]

Ah. Think she’ll be working? If she's near machinery you don't want anything that might get caught.

[ibiza]

I'll stop by and get a good look at her so I'll know what size everything needs to be. Does that work?

[serpentinthegarden]

She's six.

[ That would be a no. He had no plan but shuffling her off to some nasty old factory hadn't even occurred to him. ]

I'll try to find some rich childless family to pawn her off on. Can't be too hard. Maybe I can say she is an heiress.

[serpentinthegarden]

Probably a good idea. You can get a better idea of sizes that way. We are passing that coffee shop on sixth if you can catch us up there?

Oh and watch out for her feet. She's got a strong kick.

[desperate_times_right]

[They must both know that doesn't mean anything. She’d worked alongside kids that young, once. It's no life, but it's better than trying to survive on the street.]

Oh, all right. Think big. Get your patsy to buy her something a little fancier then, with embroidery or something. There's this nosy old couple who live up by me who could use a distraction.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[the message comes quite early in the morning]

What are you up to, you foul fiend. Nothing good I expect.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ But for the grace of... someone... goes Crowley. If he hadn't made his escape to the streets then he could have looked forward to life inside a shoe factory. ]

This a rich nosy old couple?

That could work... older married couple. She might end up getting spoiled like they were her grandparents.

[serpentinthegarden]

Nothing you need to worry about, Princess. I've got everything...

[ OW! No biting you little brat! ]

It's handled.

[desperate_times_right]

Is there another kind?

[They can certainly afford to sit at home all day gossiping about who visits her house.]

[serpentinthegarden]

I would have to look into them. Make sure they aren't into anything weird.

[desperate_times_right]

Into wanting me to get married. Ugh. You’d be doing me a huge favour.