[Text]

[serpentinthegarden]

Hey people. All this nonsense talk of dreams aside...

I'm looking to hire some one for a few hours, light work, nothing illegal, at least its only vaguely illegal. You're end of the deal would be on the up and up. Must be a good shopper and willing to look the other way.

[ All this typed up on one with one hand while he wrestled a small girl he had tucked up under the other arm down the sidewalk and right past the world's least observant cop. She was tiny and wearing only a potato ack that had been fashioned into some sort of dress, a street kid who even while she was being carried away very few paid attention to. ]

Oh, also female. Very important that you have to be female. It will never work if you aren't. I've tried.

If you are interested send a prompt reply otherwise I'll have to think up something else.

Comments

[ibiza]

What's the job, Shades?

[ Oh, she's interested. Anything that will put money in her pocket interests her. ]

[serpentinthegarden]

Shopping.

[ See as easy as anything and in no way possibly illegal! ]

For girlie things. Dresses, some Mary Jane's... whatever goes underneath. They take a dim view of men entering shops intended for little girls.

[ Or maybe they just took a dim view of Crowley entering such places. ]

The cashier at Fifth Avenue can throw a mean handbag.

[ibiza]

I can do it, easy as pie. I just need a little cash to buy the, um, girlie things.

Who am I dressing and what's her favorite color?

[serpentinthegarden]

Never got her name, she's been too busy trying to squirm away, but she has a bit of blue yarn that she has braided into a bracelet. I would go with blue.

Naturally I will give you the money for whatever she needs, you buy the stuff, and then I will pay you double the original amount. Keep the receipts so we can keep this all on the level.

[ibiza]

I'll stop by and get a good look at her so I'll know what size everything needs to be. Does that work?

[serpentinthegarden]

Probably a good idea. You can get a better idea of sizes that way. We are passing that coffee shop on sixth if you can catch us up there?

Oh and watch out for her feet. She's got a strong kick.

[ibiza]

Kids love me, Shades. Watch. I'll have her charmed in no time. She like chocolate?

[serpentinthegarden]

She's six. She would sooner rob a candy store for chocolates than a bank for money.

[ Clearly yes! What kid doesn't like sweets? ]

You're going to bribe her! I like the way you think.

[ibiza]

How else do you expect to earn a kid's trust in three seconds?

[desperate_times_right]

Why does it have to be a woman?

[serpentinthegarden]

You wouldn't ask that if you had ever asked about the size of a dress as a man. Those ladies that don't stop their shopping to shoot you a dirty look start reaching for their umbrellas to bash you over the head with them!

It would just be easier to have a women do the shopping.

[desperate_times_right]

I don't know if a dress they pick for me would fit you.

[serpentinthegarden]

That's fine. I'm not looking to have some one pick me up a dress, though it would make shopping in the lady's easier, I need some one to pick up a dress for a pint-sized version of you. Think kid, maybe six.

[desperate_times_right]

I see. Everyday wear or are you bringing your niece to an event?

[serpentinthegarden]

Oh this isn't my niece. She's just some dirty orphan kid I picked up off the street.

But she would need something to wear every day. What do little girls like these days, cotton dresses and Mary Janes?

[desperate_times_right]

[Should she be insulted that this is what he thinks of as a tiny version of her?]

Cotton is probably best for an everyday dress, but you might want to go for a closed shoe if she's living outside.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Maybe a backhanded compliment? The kid was spunky! He had almost lost hold of her three times already and they had barely gone a block. ]

She's not going to be living outside anymore. That would defeat the purpose of snatching her in the first place.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[the message comes quite early in the morning]

What are you up to, you foul fiend. Nothing good I expect.

[serpentinthegarden]

Nothing you need to worry about, Princess. I've got everything...

[ OW! No biting you little brat! ]

It's handled.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[Princess? He smothers the startled bit of affection for that and wakes up a little more, ringing for his tea]

What have you got handled, Mr. Crowley. And why do I doubt it. Also if I am a princess, what does that make you?

[serpentinthegarden]

Not a Prince. Just trying something out but it doesn't feel quite right.

[ Princess wasn't the right term. ]

You wouldn't like it! Even if the brat had it coming...

[blessedarethebookmakers]

Something lowlier perhaps? A jester?

[he's just teasing him]

What the hell did you do? Mr. Crowley! If I find you've hurt someone I will give you such a clout round the ear!

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Such a face scrunched up demonic face was pulled at that comment that the kid he was toting briefly forgot her peril and laughed.

Then the tease faded leaving Fell's written threat which some how stung worse than any ear boxing he might have received. ]

I haven't hurt anyone. It's not that kind of caper. It's more... relocating goods.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

What goods are you relocating. I don't trust anything you say with the word good in it for some reason.

[he sniffs]

I insist you come tell me in person! I shan't sleep until you do!

[serpentinthegarden]

Oh you insist?

[ Why was that so appealing? ]

I don't even know where you live.